This Post Brought to You By Xanga

September 20, 2013

Xanga still hasn’t fixed my blog, so I’m on WordPress anyway, just… elsewhere.

This week has been hard. Ad’s in pre-K now and her sister is not, and she is not adjusting well to being separated. Dia isn’t ready for pre-K yet, but I’m hoping to get her caught up by next year so they can both be in the same grade. There’ve been a lot of tears and biting. And my T-man just finished being weaned off breastfeeding and he’s not really enjoying that. He’s up a lot at night crying for me to come get him so I’m not sleeping that much.

Even when he’s not keeping me up, I still can’t go the fuck to sleep lately. Work has been very stressful, as it usually is at the start of the school year, but this year I have a lot of added responsibilities. I’m losing hair like crazy and it’s impossible to find a second’s peace to work on one thing without somebody else interrupting. It’s pretty much just me supporting our entire department and eight hours isn’t enough to get to everybody. And none of THEM can figure that out, obviously.

My birthday is on Wednesday, and then our anniversary on the 30th, and things aren’t exactly great in that arena either. I haven’t seen much of K in the last month and a half or so. He works in Mentor, third shift, so he’s gone all the time that I’m home and awake during the day, and somewhere in all of that he has to find time to get all his own shit done, so I haven’t even seen him in a couple days.

Lastly, I really want to move the fuck out of this apartment. It was never meant to be a long-term rental, and we’re coming up on two years in what amounts to a studio, with five people. Not to mention the total slumlord shit going on here. FUCKING BEES in my ceiling, and she just sprays outside the house with some wasp killer. Wtf?

So yeah. It’s shitty times right now. I just need a beer and a really long nap.



July 18, 2010

We’re going on vacation the first week in August. Out-of-state. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. My mother, grandmother, brother, the babies, and my dog, since I couldn’t find anyone to watch him for the week. My mom and grandma are going to Atlanta to visit my uncle, and they’re dropping the rest of us off in Tennessee so we can visit our other grandma and grandpa. I’ve already started making lists of things I will need to bring, and it is a LOT of stuff. I don’t know what the weather’s like in Tennessee, but I’m considering only packing a few outfits for the babies and letting them crawl around naked for the week. I also have to go to the fabric store to see if I can’t find a third color for the quilts we’ll be making. One for Alea, and one for me.

I finally had an idea hit me, for the perfect baby gifts for my brothers’ girlfriends’ baby showers. Books. No one else is going to be buying books. I just need to find some used bookstores that have the classic stuff. New books are just too expensive, and kids are hard on their stuff anyway, so I don’t think it would be a bad idea to buy them used.

Yesterday I was sorting through these massive piles of baby clothes that people have given me, to find things to give to my brother for his baby. It was a little sad to go through all the tiny newborn clothes that my girls were only wearing six months ago. Impossibly small onesies and little socks and mittens. It really does go by fast. When they were in the NICU, I thought they’d never get out, but here we are, half a year later. I can’t blink, or I’ll miss something, it’s that quick.

2 Weeks

February 5, 2010

I guess I kind of neglected WordPress in favor of my other blog and one true love, Xanga.

Adelaide and Lydia were born January 25th. They have been in the NICU for two weeks, gaining a little weight and learning to maintain their body temperatures. They will probably come home on Monday the 8th. Fingers crossed!

31 Weeks

January 8, 2010

I’m slowly becoming immobile at this point. Earlier this week I had a near-accident while I was driving somewhere for work, and it was pants-shittingly apparent that I shouldn’t be driving anymore until this is all over.
I’m also finished with stairs. My mother is doing my laundry so that I don’t have to go downstairs, and driving me to work, school, and the store. My dad is now taking care of the driveway and everything snow-related. It’s unexpected, but it’s nice.

I’m starting my weekly doctor visits and stress tests. This shit is really happening now, ready or not. Also, my older brother’s girlfriend is finally pregnant, and I get to go with her to her appointments and shopping and all that. We hope it’s a girl, because if it’s a boy, as soon as he’s old enough to hold a gun, we will never see him again, lost to the masculine world of hunting and competitive farting.

I’m going to spend today cleaning out this terrible computer. It’s funny, when I first bought this computer four years ago, I was so excited and proud, because it was my first major purchase and I had my OWN computer. There was always someone fighting over it because I didn’t want anybody else in the family to use it and somebody was mad that I was allowed to say no one could touch it. It was also when Vista came out, and before the world at large recognized it was crap, so everybody thought I was all high-tech.

Missing the laptop. I never realized how much more convenient it was than this desktop, even though they’re only a few feet away from each other. Apparently I spend a lot of time Googling various questions I have during the day, but it’s too hard to do on the desktop because if it sits idle for five minutes it starts to lag. Maybe I’ll start a laptop fund by selling nudes or something. Haha, the funny part is, I’m not kidding.

And that’s where I am at 31 weeks, with only 7 weeks to go.

Feeling Guilty

December 21, 2009

I’m feeling guilty for wanting this pregnancy to be over. All I ever wanted was to get pregnant and stay that way for 40 weeks. After all my miscarriages before 10 weeks, I thought it would never happen. But here I am, almost 29 weeks pregnant, and wishing it was over and that I had my baby here in the outside world. I’m so huge and heavy, and tired. I’m still adjusting to being so big I can barely see my belly button, so I keep bumping into door frames and the edges of tables.

I’m still looking at different birthing centers and hospitals, but I really want to find a birthing center that feels right, before I have to go on bedrest. I’m going to ask my midwife for some suggestions a little further away from the area where I live, just so I can look at a few more before I make a decision. I’ve really stepped it up with the healthy eating and exercising and everything, because there is no way I am going to have a C-section unless it’s absolutely necessary. I also don’t want a hospital birth if I can help it. I’ll never forget the pushy asshole doctor I had last time, and I am going to avoid another scene like that at all costs.

And now I’m off to take a nap.

27 Weeks

December 10, 2009

What a week. Somehow, I never considered

1) what it would be like to drive in bad weather while enormously pregnant. It’s a good thing I avoid driving at all costs, even without snow and high winds.

2) how hard it might be to try and finish the last week of the semester when all I want to do is float in a giant pool of warm water.

Yesterday I woke up and my belly button had popped out. I was really hoping it would stay where it belongs, because mine is gross. There were skin tags inside my belly button, and now they are outside and it’s just sick.

It also started snowing yesterday. We had a wind advisory and ended up losing power at work. There’s a little bitta snow on the ground today and I’m bummed because now I really cannot put off buying a new coat. I will probably only wear it for a couple of months and end up sending it to Haven of Rest because I would look ridiculous wearing an oversized coat. I’m short and mostly skinny, except in the front, so everything long sleeved always goes over my hands and my pants always get ripped up at the bottoms from dragging the ground. My current coat just looks stupid because it’s long at the back and really short at the front where it is struggling to cover me and stay zipped up. Basically I look like I have a basketball stuck under my shirt.

90 days to go.

A Little Weight Off

December 3, 2009

I’ve really been under the gun for a couple weeks now. I’ve had the last week of the semester looming over me:

  1. A portfolio consisting of two previously completed essays and a reflective letter analyzing them according to an extensive rubric
  2. A term paper with the research question “What do people get from religion?” (I know, I know, I’ll explain how that happened, some other time) and my own attempt at “entering the academic conversation” by saying that all religious people are looking for the same exact things
  3. A journal consisting of six previously completed reader responses, of which I had only completed five and only found four in my room
  4. A six page website following the criteria set by the instructor, along with a navigation model and a proposal paper for the fictional client
  5. A chapter of work for my Computer Apps class. It’s not hard, but there’s a lot of work

I’ve also resigned myself to the fact that I am going to fail my intro to algebra class. My mother found out and keeps nagging me about it.

I finished the first 3 items and turned everything in, so some of that weight is off, but I am still kind of nervous about how my financial aid is going to turn out since I’m going to fail math, and I haven’t actually been to my internet design class in a week and a half. I can’t wait until this semester is over, but unfortunately next semester is going to be the challenge of my life.