24 Weeks

“In the past few weeks, the top of your uterus has risen above your belly button and is now about the size of a soccer ball.”

Oh, how I laughed. My stomach is no longer the cute “bump” mentioned in all pregnancy-related media. It looks like there is something preparing to burst through my skin like an alien parasite. Or a baby dancing the can-can.

I can’t sleep on my back anymore, and it’s hard to get out of bed. Gizmo likes to sleep with his head on my belly, and I think he was alarmed the first time he felt something MOVE in there, so he keeps moving at night trying to get away from it. Of course, baby is wide awake while I’m trying to sleep, and I imagine a baby jazz player in a night club, smoking a cigar while playing the washboard bass with his feet.

Tomorrow I have my glucose challenge test, and I have to get weighed. Ugh. I knew all those brownies were a bad idea.

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