I had an appointment today, during which I was weighed, tested for anemia, and had an ultrasound. Apparently I did not meet my target weight, so I got a lecture for that. Then I found out I have anemia and now I have to take iron supplements. All for a good cause. I really need to step it up if I want to do everything my way when it is time to actually give birth.
I’m having my wisdom teeth out tomorrow, and my “care team” (people in charge of corralling me around in my anesthetized state: my mother, J) has expressed concern that I may go toppling over like a tranquilized rhino at some point. Which brings me to this:
When my mother had her wisdom teeth out in the 80s, my grandmother had to drive through all the hairpin Georgia mountains with a crazy-drugged-out daughter in the passenger seat. My mom thought she could fly, and was trying really hard to get out of the vehicle to test out her wings. They ended up getting pulled over because a cop thought my grandma was driving drunk.
Since my mother swears I am just like her, she is convinced I will get out of hand during the ride home, and has purchased a harness of some sort, which she will use to keep me in the car in the event that I sprout wings and try to fly away.
Think of that tomorrow when your day is crappy. I’ll look like a hostage, trussed up in the passenger seat of a Hummer, flapping my arms like a pterodactyl, on the highway, while you are preparing for your Thanksgiving holiday. Enjoy.