Feeling Guilty

I’m feeling guilty for wanting this pregnancy to be over. All I ever wanted was to get pregnant and stay that way for 40 weeks. After all my miscarriages before 10 weeks, I thought it would never happen. But here I am, almost 29 weeks pregnant, and wishing it was over and that I had my baby here in the outside world. I’m so huge and heavy, and tired. I’m still adjusting to being so big I can barely see my belly button, so I keep bumping into door frames and the edges of tables.

I’m still looking at different birthing centers and hospitals, but I really want to find a birthing center that feels right, before I have to go on bedrest. I’m going to ask my midwife for some suggestions a little further away from the area where I live, just so I can look at a few more before I make a decision. I’ve really stepped it up with the healthy eating and exercising and everything, because there is no way I am going to have a C-section unless it’s absolutely necessary. I also don’t want a hospital birth if I can help it. I’ll never forget the pushy asshole doctor I had last time, and I am going to avoid another scene like that at all costs.

And now I’m off to take a nap.

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6 Responses to Feeling Guilty

  1. oscarthegrouch says:

    it will be over all to quickly. this is the easiest baby care will ever be, enjoy it lol! i can’t blame you for not wanting another pushy doctor, i’m sure that you’ll find a great birthing center!

  2. The Nanny says:

    Hi! I linked to your blog from Celebrity Baby Blog šŸ™‚

    I just wanted to say that I think it’s great that you’re considering birthing centers as opposed to hospital births! I’m studying to be a doula, and I think it’s fantastic you’re not just going the run-of-the-mill elective C-section route šŸ™‚

    Have you considered a homebirth?

    • seebeewrite says:

      I thought about a homebirth, but in my situation it’s not really an option. I’m at risk for some complications so I want to be at a hospital or a birthing center in case something goes wrong.

  3. The Nanny says:

    That absolutely makes sense. Good luck!!! I’ll be thinking of you.

  4. The Nanny says:

    Awesome! I’ll add you to my Bloglines. I’m at http://theonlinenannydiaries.blogspot.com šŸ™‚

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