2 Weeks

February 5, 2010

I guess I kind of neglected WordPress in favor of my other blog and one true love, Xanga.

Adelaide and Lydia were born January 25th. They have been in the NICU for two weeks, gaining a little weight and learning to maintain their body temperatures. They will probably come home on Monday the 8th. Fingers crossed!

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31 Weeks

January 8, 2010

I’m slowly becoming immobile at this point. Earlier this week I had a near-accident while I was driving somewhere for work, and it was pants-shittingly apparent that I shouldn’t be driving anymore until this is all over.
I’m also finished with stairs. My mother is doing my laundry so that I don’t have to go downstairs, and driving me to work, school, and the store. My dad is now taking care of the driveway and everything snow-related. It’s unexpected, but it’s nice.

I’m starting my weekly doctor visits and stress tests. This shit is really happening now, ready or not. Also, my older brother’s girlfriend is finally pregnant, and I get to go with her to her appointments and shopping and all that. We hope it’s a girl, because if it’s a boy, as soon as he’s old enough to hold a gun, we will never see him again, lost to the masculine world of hunting and competitive farting.

I’m going to spend today cleaning out this terrible computer. It’s funny, when I first bought this computer four years ago, I was so excited and proud, because it was my first major purchase and I had my OWN computer. There was always someone fighting over it because I didn’t want anybody else in the family to use it and somebody was mad that I was allowed to say no one could touch it. It was also when Vista came out, and before the world at large recognized it was crap, so everybody thought I was all high-tech.

Missing the laptop. I never realized how much more convenient it was than this desktop, even though they’re only a few feet away from each other. Apparently I spend a lot of time Googling various questions I have during the day, but it’s too hard to do on the desktop because if it sits idle for five minutes it starts to lag. Maybe I’ll start a laptop fund by selling nudes or something. Haha, the funny part is, I’m not kidding.

And that’s where I am at 31 weeks, with only 7 weeks to go.


Feeling Guilty

December 21, 2009

I’m feeling guilty for wanting this pregnancy to be over. All I ever wanted was to get pregnant and stay that way for 40 weeks. After all my miscarriages before 10 weeks, I thought it would never happen. But here I am, almost 29 weeks pregnant, and wishing it was over and that I had my baby here in the outside world. I’m so huge and heavy, and tired. I’m still adjusting to being so big I can barely see my belly button, so I keep bumping into door frames and the edges of tables.

I’m still looking at different birthing centers and hospitals, but I really want to find a birthing center that feels right, before I have to go on bedrest. I’m going to ask my midwife for some suggestions a little further away from the area where I live, just so I can look at a few more before I make a decision. I’ve really stepped it up with the healthy eating and exercising and everything, because there is no way I am going to have a C-section unless it’s absolutely necessary. I also don’t want a hospital birth if I can help it. I’ll never forget the pushy asshole doctor I had last time, and I am going to avoid another scene like that at all costs.

And now I’m off to take a nap.


27 Weeks

December 10, 2009

What a week. Somehow, I never considered

1) what it would be like to drive in bad weather while enormously pregnant. It’s a good thing I avoid driving at all costs, even without snow and high winds.

2) how hard it might be to try and finish the last week of the semester when all I want to do is float in a giant pool of warm water.

Yesterday I woke up and my belly button had popped out. I was really hoping it would stay where it belongs, because mine is gross. There were skin tags inside my belly button, and now they are outside and it’s just sick.

It also started snowing yesterday. We had a wind advisory and ended up losing power at work. There’s a little bitta snow on the ground today and I’m bummed because now I really cannot put off buying a new coat. I will probably only wear it for a couple of months and end up sending it to Haven of Rest because I would look ridiculous wearing an oversized coat. I’m short and mostly skinny, except in the front, so everything long sleeved always goes over my hands and my pants always get ripped up at the bottoms from dragging the ground. My current coat just looks stupid because it’s long at the back and really short at the front where it is struggling to cover me and stay zipped up. Basically I look like I have a basketball stuck under my shirt.

90 days to go.


25 Weeks

November 24, 2009

I had an appointment today, during which I was weighed, tested for anemia, and had an ultrasound. Apparently I did not meet my target weight, so I got a lecture for that. Then I found out I have anemia and now I have to take iron supplements. All for a good cause. I really need to step it up if I want to do everything my way when it is time to actually give birth.

I’m having my wisdom teeth out tomorrow, and my “care team” (people in charge of corralling me around in my anesthetized ┬ástate: my mother, J) has expressed concern that I may go toppling over like a tranquilized rhino at some point. Which brings me to this:

When my mother had her wisdom teeth out in the 80s, my grandmother had to drive through all the hairpin Georgia mountains with a crazy-drugged-out daughter in the passenger seat. My mom thought she could fly, and was trying really hard to get out of the vehicle to test out her wings. They ended up getting pulled over because a cop thought my grandma was driving drunk.

Since my mother swears I am just like her, she is convinced I will get out of hand during the ride home, and has purchased a harness of some sort, which she will use to keep me in the car in the event that I sprout wings and try to fly away.

Think of that tomorrow when your day is crappy. I’ll look like a hostage, trussed up in the passenger seat of a Hummer, flapping my arms like a pterodactyl, on the highway, while you are preparing for your Thanksgiving holiday. Enjoy.


24 Weeks

November 19, 2009

“In the past few weeks, the top of your uterus has risen above your belly button and is now about the size of a soccer ball.”

Oh, how I laughed. My stomach is no longer the cute “bump” mentioned in all pregnancy-related media. It looks like there is something preparing to burst through my skin like an alien parasite. Or a baby dancing the can-can.

I can’t sleep on my back anymore, and it’s hard to get out of bed. Gizmo likes to sleep with his head on my belly, and I think he was alarmed the first time he felt something MOVE in there, so he keeps moving at night trying to get away from it. Of course, baby is wide awake while I’m trying to sleep, and I imagine a baby jazz player in a night club, smoking a cigar while playing the washboard bass with his feet.

Tomorrow I have my glucose challenge test, and I have to get weighed. Ugh. I knew all those brownies were a bad idea.


23 Weeks

November 11, 2009

Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance.”

Psh. I don’t know about any of the other 23 weeks-pregnant ladies, but I sure as hell don’t feel like dancing. I’m exhausted. It could be something to do with the dental headaches and the pain medication, or it could be the enormous weight hanging off the front of my body. I’m only five feet tall so I look kind of like a pre-teen girl carrying a a yoga ball. With boobs. Gigantic, sore, possibly alien boobs.
I have enough materal instinct to know that water will help with the weight-carrying issues. I dream of swimming pools and private bathrooms for every public facility. I need to get into the water, but I am sketchy on using a public pool, especially to wallow like a dead hippo. I’m considering buying one of those larger inflatable pools and setting it up in my basement. Then I can swim naked. …What? You think I’m going to buy a maternity bathing suit? Not on your life, honey. I look like a red zebra. With boobs. And a yoga ball.