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September 20, 2013

Xanga still hasn’t fixed my blog, so I’m on WordPress anyway, just… elsewhere.

This week has been hard. Ad’s in pre-K now and her sister is not, and she is not adjusting well to being separated. Dia isn’t ready for pre-K yet, but I’m hoping to get her caught up by next year so they can both be in the same grade. There’ve been a lot of tears and biting. And my T-man just finished being weaned off breastfeeding and he’s not really enjoying that. He’s up a lot at night crying for me to come get him so I’m not sleeping that much.

Even when he’s not keeping me up, I still can’t go the fuck to sleep lately. Work has been very stressful, as it usually is at the start of the school year, but this year I have a lot of added responsibilities. I’m losing hair like crazy and it’s impossible to find a second’s peace to work on one thing without somebody else interrupting. It’s pretty much just me supporting our entire department and eight hours isn’t enough to get to everybody. And none of THEM can figure that out, obviously.

My birthday is on Wednesday, and then our anniversary on the 30th, and things aren’t exactly great in that arena either. I haven’t seen much of K in the last month and a half or so. He works in Mentor, third shift, so he’s gone all the time that I’m home and awake during the day, and somewhere in all of that he has to find time to get all his own shit done, so I haven’t even seen him in a couple days.

Lastly, I really want to move the fuck out of this apartment. It was never meant to be a long-term rental, and we’re coming up on two years in what amounts to a studio, with five people. Not to mention the total slumlord shit going on here. FUCKING BEES in my ceiling, and she just sprays outside the house with some wasp killer. Wtf?

So yeah. It’s shitty times right now. I just need a beer and a really long nap.

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Summer

July 18, 2010

We’re going on vacation the first week in August. Out-of-state. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. My mother, grandmother, brother, the babies, and my dog, since I couldn’t find anyone to watch him for the week. My mom and grandma are going to Atlanta to visit my uncle, and they’re dropping the rest of us off in Tennessee so we can visit our other grandma and grandpa. I’ve already started making lists of things I will need to bring, and it is a LOT of stuff. I don’t know what the weather’s like in Tennessee, but I’m considering only packing a few outfits for the babies and letting them crawl around naked for the week. I also have to go to the fabric store to see if I can’t find a third color for the quilts we’ll be making. One for Alea, and one for me.

I finally had an idea hit me, for the perfect baby gifts for my brothers’ girlfriends’ baby showers. Books. No one else is going to be buying books. I just need to find some used bookstores that have the classic stuff. New books are just too expensive, and kids are hard on their stuff anyway, so I don’t think it would be a bad idea to buy them used.

Yesterday I was sorting through these massive piles of baby clothes that people have given me, to find things to give to my brother for his baby. It was a little sad to go through all the tiny newborn clothes that my girls were only wearing six months ago. Impossibly small onesies and little socks and mittens. It really does go by fast. When they were in the NICU, I thought they’d never get out, but here we are, half a year later. I can’t blink, or I’ll miss something, it’s that quick.


A Little Weight Off

December 3, 2009

I’ve really been under the gun for a couple weeks now. I’ve had the last week of the semester looming over me:

  1. A portfolio consisting of two previously completed essays and a reflective letter analyzing them according to an extensive rubric
  2. A term paper with the research question “What do people get from religion?” (I know, I know, I’ll explain how that happened, some other time) and my own attempt at “entering the academic conversation” by saying that all religious people are looking for the same exact things
  3. A journal consisting of six previously completed reader responses, of which I had only completed five and only found four in my room
  4. A six page website following the criteria set by the instructor, along with a navigation model and a proposal paper for the fictional client
  5. A chapter of work for my Computer Apps class. It’s not hard, but there’s a lot of work

I’ve also resigned myself to the fact that I am going to fail my intro to algebra class. My mother found out and keeps nagging me about it.

I finished the first 3 items and turned everything in, so some of that weight is off, but I am still kind of nervous about how my financial aid is going to turn out since I’m going to fail math, and I haven’t actually been to my internet design class in a week and a half. I can’t wait until this semester is over, but unfortunately next semester is going to be the challenge of my life.


Clear the Roads

December 1, 2009

I had a mini-meltdown today. I have let things pile up for awhile and for the past three days it has all been falling down around me, and I am not handling it so well.

My term paper and another tedious reflective letter are due on Wednesday. I have not touched either of them. I am going to fail my algebra class. I have a small website to design as the final for my internet/intranet design class. I attempted to start on all of these things today, by totally crashing at 9:30PM and waking up four hours later.

J and I must have experienced a fracture or a break in our relationship. Some rather nasty things were said by both of us, and I remember crying a lot and asking why he was being so mean. Then he went home and argued with some other people, right before his big hunting trip. Then last night his whole bad energy situation reached boiling point and he ended up getting attacked by someone in my backyard and now has a black eye and a wounded sense of man-pride.. I can’t stop thinking about all those terrible things we said. I know we both meant them, and now it’s festering away while we are ignoring the whole spat in favor of making his trip a tiny bit more enjoyable.

My mouth has stopped hurting, but now it is my face that hurts, specifically my upper jaw, which is super sore.

When I came home from class today I sat and cried in the driveway for a little bit. I really shouldn’t let things get so out of control before I try to fix them.


Surviving October

October 13, 2009

No word yet from the man who is looking for my furnace replacement part. In the meantime, I am staying toasty with the help of three space heaters and an electric blanket.

It’s rather cold, since it’s fall and I’m in Ohio. J is still working on the new house, and I’m supposed to start picking out flooring and paint colors sometime next week. I really hope he gets moving, because we need to be living in that house by the time winter gets here, or I and my unborn will freeze into popsicles here.


Things That Would Make Me Happy

September 27, 2009

– White plastic coat hangers

– New pillow for the other side of the bed, plus new pillows for the pillow shams

– New percale sheets

– Some kind of essential oil so that my house doesn’t stink

– Getting rid of my hideous desk, TV, and TV stand in the bedroom.

– Fixing the antique lamp my grandmother gave me

– Completely clearing out my closet

– Painting my room a different color

– To be rid of this awful nausea issue I’m having

– For it to be Friday at noon again


Lucky People

September 27, 2009

At the beginning of the summer, J went to bingo for the first time. He won about $100 from bingo itself. He also bought some kind of drawing ticket that doesn’t go until the end of the day.

We were watching TV when the phone call came and J started jumping up and down and shouting. He had won $500 from the ticket.

Last night I went to the Ohio Sportsmen club’s raffle/steak fry. My dad and I had two tickets, with each ticket being for two people. I brought J with me, even though I didn’t want to. He asked me to pick which ticket I thought would be the winner. I picked 52 since it’s my lucky number backwards. He said, “If 53 ends up in the last five, I’ll…”

In the raffle were about 90 tickets, and 52 was in the last five. If the five people could agree, they split the money. If not, the tickets get drawn until it’s down to one.

We split, and each got $200. I split it with J and I’m $70 richer.

Are we lucky or what?